I am extremely thankful to my 15-year-old self who created this blog. Can you imagine- I am writing things over and over on the same slate for the last 8 years? I created this blog before appearing on my SLC examinations. I remember what I was into back then- it was computing and mathematics. I had a keen interest in learning mathematics but was not as successful as I wanted to be. Well, some things never change. I still want to learn computing and mathematics, in fact I am spending this summer break to go over the foundations on mathematics and computing. I don’t want to learn subject-specific knowledge, I want to develop a generalized understanding at this point. This summer is planned out- spend 2 days a week understanding general mathematics, and spend 2 days a week understanding general computing. I want to be able to solve logical and quantifiable problems. I want to be able, not do things in themselves. My mind is made for something else- something that naturally flows within me and that’s History. So, let’s make plans. Let’s structure them and see how much can be achieved. Afterall, you won’t remember what you did 5 years back if you don’t have a written record and you didn’t follow the path. Why else would I be thankful to this blog and my 15-year-old self if it wasn’t for this magnificent time machine. Talk about generalization- I started writing blogs when I was 12 so I would assume I generalized the required knowledge for running a blog to such extent that without having learnt a single new aspect of blogging in the last 4 years or so, I have been successfully publishing here. I intend to do so till I die.
What is it that I really want to pursue has taken 23 years of my life to finally reveal itself. I now know that I want to study History. Not the generic history of what happened in this time frame and who are the main actors. I want to study the history of development of nationals. Specifically, I want to learn economic history. More specifically, I want to learn the economic and financial history of the nations of Singapore, Hong Kong, Taiwan, Japan, South Korea, The United States, Netherlands, England, Venice, Spain, Portugal. I want to learn from the episodes of success of each of these nations/states. I also want to learn the economic and financial histories of countries that failed while embracing capitalism and are seen to be successful after gradual move towards socialism. I also want to learn the economic and financial history of nations that successfully transitioned from being conservatively capitalistic to moderately socialist – the countries of Europe that we see today as being happy and successful despite not having specific technological advantages over other countries.
Developing on my intentions and aspirations, I’ll write why I want to spend my life learning something that probably will not make me large amount of money, or even get me a job at all. Sometimes I wonder if my too easy-going nature and lack of regard to money will bite me back in the future and completely destroy me. But that remains to be seen and my inherent nature of thriving under chaos will probably help me tremendously in alleviating any pain caused by my easy-going nature. My contingency plan is to go to the village and live with only the produce I cultivate. I think I will be happy with such a life as well. In fact, I intend to be fortunate enough to spend 3 months a year of my life in a remote village after I get married and have kids. One needs to properly raise the upcoming generation. Afterall, children are the future of the nation. It took me 23 years to understand the meaning of the sentence. I still am connecting and dots and will try to connect more and more each day till I die.
So, the macro vision is laid out- I want to learn Economic and Financial History. What’s next is, I have to find institutions of higher learning that specialize in generalizing the subjects I wish to learn. While I know the over-the-top concept of what I want to learn, I still haven’t read a book and I still don’t know a single professor from a single university who is engaged in developing material for the upcoming generation of Economic and Financial Historians. This is no big a deal though. My insatiable hunger for reading anything and everything combined with a three-month-long vacation and an entire upcoming semester devoted to learning History will result in materialization of a lot of concepts of economic history in the coming 9 months. As I develop understanding of the subject, I will connect with a great deal of people who are masters of this game. These people will assist me to secure a position where I will, voluntarily, and with devotion, spend the next 7 years of my life in developing mastery of the subject. I intend to be disciplined in fulfillment of this macro goal. We still have’t reached the micro-level yet.
As the macro plan is laid out, the only question remaining is how do I reach the first step of the 7-year-long sabbatical. For easy explanation, I need to do something- something profound and unconventional for an undergraduate student- which will secure me a position at a leading institution of higher learning for the studies of Economic and Financial History. The plan for this is laid out as well.
Immediately after I am done with the papers that mark the completion of my 4 years of Bachelors’ study at Caldwell University, I will begin my journey of, first, learning about the economic and financial history of the United States of America. I want to learn how this swath of land, unknown to outsiders for the greater part of human history, emerged to be the powerhouse of the world. I also know where to begin- New York! Concrete jungles where dreams are made, there’s nothing you can’t do, now you’re in New York! Takes a lot of listening and living in the United States for 4 years to understand what Jay Z meant about America, New York specifically. I have perks from the connections I have developed. No need to worry about where to sleep, what to eat. I have great friends who are like my family and these people spread across the east coast. This summer, I intend to visit and carefully connect the dots of development of New York and East Coast in general, as the economic and financial powerhouse of the United States to begin with. Now that this macro plan for the coming 3 months is out, I need to know what are the places I mustn’t miss for the completion of this project in the coming 3 months. Professor Mullaney will help me in this regard. She is an expert in American History and she thinks of me in a positive regard. While I try to challenge her every chance I get, I don’t think she minds having a competitive and naturally-endowed upcoming Historian in her class. I will write her an email seeking advice on the things I need to do to complete the project on my mind. I will begin with her suggestions and carefully add things of my own bringing into the project. With that laid out, I am excited for the summer break.
The goal is to go cross-country, learning about each and every port and each and every residential area that contributed in making America what it is. While this over-arching goal can be fulfilled, given that I have 100+days of vacation from school, finances are also to be taken care of. I am in a huge debt- 13K to the university, 3k personal loans, that’s a total of 16K. I barely make 1k a month right now. To put salt on the wounds of my finances, I tend to drink a lot of beer that drains my finances. Increasingly, I have been dining out a lot, hitting my finances further severely. But I am thankful to my mind for not thinking too much about the grand problem of finance that I cannot immediately solve. It’s not like, I work for a month breaking my bones and I will make that money. I absolutely hate manual labor that’s done not for the sake of dignity but for the sake of having to survive. I absolutely hate having to work one’s ass off for the sake of livelihood and not for the dignity and respect of the job. But, it is what it is. While I hate having to do work I don’t want to, I don’t have that many options. One always needs a constant, reliable, source of cash flow that will ensure one’s survival, at least.
I intend to work on improving my finances and generating additional income to support my summer plan by putting the financial knowledge I have to work. I have developed sophistication in trading options, futures and spot on stocks and cryptocurrencies. I feel like I am also generating morality , hardcore wisdom, and discipline from within. As I think of my progression in life, I feel I am special and the Maker does not want to see me fail in attaining my purpose. The Maker always shows Itself in some form, kindling my fire within, inspiring and motivating me to attain both my short-term and long-term goals. How would I have even begun writing this diary if it was not for the ever-burning passionate fire that has constantly been providing me additional energy when I feel like I should stop. Today, my brain is loving having to do work. My fingers don’t mind typing. It is for this purpose of ultimately producing a huge container of knowledge in written-form that I have developed a typing speed that’s >90% of the world’s typists. A good brain-body symbiosis can get you where you want to be. It brings happiness inside me that I can write a 20-page paper from scratch in a day. It brings me further joy that I can read a 300-page book in a day. Give me 3 days after a good mental preparation and I can write a 20-page summary of a book that’s 300 pages long. No, there can not be reduction, afterall the brain fucks you harder if you fuck it hard.
Things somehow align. I can’t explain how, but somehow things do align. As long as the over-arching goal remains there, not a specific, but an ultimate goal regardless, one finds ways to attain them goals. Look at how the stars have aligned for me: I want to study all my life, specifically study economic history, but generally study. Nature has endowed me with mental faculties that allow me to read at a great speed and contextualize them. I am studying at a university where there are professors that constantly check on me and warn and reenergize me whenever my passion seems to be fading. These professors who have immense knowledge provide me with specific guides that speeds up my understanding process. I don’t have to go through 20 books to learn a thing. My professors tell me specifically the content I’m supposed to read and go an extra step in making sure I have that content at my disposal. You should not expect to be spoon-fed but it doesn’t hurt to have a plate of food and a spoon brought to your table. The eating, that’s your job, the prepping and cooking, well, if you can do without it all your life, don’t worry about it. Next is finances. I need money for survival and paying tuition. Somehow, I’ve been surviving and am still enrolled at the university. It’s been 4 years already and I don’t recall having to do hard work that I would rather not do. The places where I have worked, I think they think positive of me. They would hire me anytime I request them for a job. So, I have been earning the steady cash flow which determines my survival in this foreign country. I also have developed understanding of the capital markets, thanks to my never-ending hunger for knowledge, and the availability of Bloomberg and Wall Street Journal which I subscribed to and paid for the last 2 years or so. Thanks to PK Uncle’s store, I was able to read every issue of Barron’s for 2 years. I need to reach out to him again and ask for papers he’s considering discarding in trash. Through continuous reading and intrinsically connecting dots for the past 3 years, I would say I have developed generalized knowledge on the Capital markets. What this means is, give me a week to learn and I can basically trade anything in any market anywhere in the world. What this gives me is the ability to simultaneously engage in trading in multiple markets across multiple countries. I have been successfully trading cryptocurrencies, derivatives on cryptocurrencies, stocks, stocks in the United States, stocks in Nepal, and option contracts of US-Listed equities. By engaging in micro-level trading in all these asset classes and appropriately managing risk, I am confident that I will make enough money for my CAPEX of travels, and simultaneously develop an over-arching long-term portfolio. What else does one need? Is this not enough: Do the desk job that feeds you and gives you 20 hours to read and publish, trade stocks, futures, and options that provide for your non-essential but important expenses, engage in long-term investing in the market by using surplus funds from desk job and trading, and build a retirement portfolio in the market where you decide to eventually retire (Nepal). The plan is to continue doing all of this for at least the upcoming 7 years. By then I am sure I will have a sizable long-term portfolio and by then I will also have completed my PHD and formal education. That’s when I will marry and begin a new chapter of my life. I intend to be lucky in this new chapter as well.
I feel like I have accomplished what I started. This is a long blog, could be the longest one I have ever written. I am proud of reaching here. See, it brings a unique joy every time you finish something that you started. It brings further joy when you accomplish, in one sitting, what you start.
Onto the next job! Finishing 2 papers on BU455. Let’s see if I can reach the 4th paper today.
I want to thank Eichiaro Oda and Kozuki Oden for the motivation I currently have. The recent episodes of One Piece- my personal favorites are the ones involving Roger, Oden, and Whitebeard– have taught me how important it is to work on your over-arching goals. There are milestones that need to be achieved and each one of them is equally important. Consistently submitting papers and having a good GPA are these milestones for now. The upcoming week, I will not engage in any sort of trading activities. I will stay away from home, into secluded places where there is minimal disturbance, and I will finish all the papers within the coming 1 week. This is going to be the greatest challenge I have ever faced, and I’m sure I will face a lot of hardships and energy drain and fading of the willingness to work. I expect to blow my mind and prepare myself for the next chapter of my life, i.e. the summer CAPEX and publishing which will eventually land me a position in one of the most competitive institute of higher learning where I will put these skills of doing intense work continuously to test. Right now, I am only writing things sprouting in my mind, and I’m having a hard time doing even that. In the next 7 days, things will have changed. I will have developed a new level os stress-test on my mind. I am prepared for it!
P.S. In the end, I want to further emphasize the importance of completion of my papers within the upcoming week. Not a question of it, but when, When I complete these papers, of course not just on satisfactory, but excellent levels, I will have a 2-week advantage over the present me planning all of the short-term and long-term goals. My friends are graduating this semester and I need to plan a grand party. As I finish off my education requirements, I will have enough time to plan the party, and I will have a 2-week advantage of engaging in trading activities. I also want to write that I make $600 micro-trading futures in a day. I am confident I can replicate this activity with adequate levels of risk management and constant reinforcement of each trade that goes good and every trade that goes South. Is it South? I guess it is. Do the math. 500X14=7000$. That’s more than half of my tuition fees. 1 month of successful trading will put me in an extremely strong financial position. Having gotten rid of all debts and learnt valuable lessons, I will have lesser and lesser things to worry about and more and more time and energy towards fulfilling my life goals.